Headline of the Day

Via CNN. And the Pope isn't the only guy with his vestments in an uproar over the Kermit Krucifix:

[Regional President] Pahl, whose province is heavily Catholic, was so outraged by the sculpture of the pop-eyed amphibian that he went on a hunger strike to demand its removal and had to be taken to hospital during the summer.

Really? Over a fucking frog sculpture? I don't get it.

In other religious news, it seems God may decide to smite the Republicans this year. Remember how right-wing douchebag Stuart Shepard encouraged the Focus on the Family flock to pray for rain to disrupt Obama's outdoor acceptance speech tonight? Na-ga-ha-pen:


However, if the projected forecast for current Tropical Storm Gustav proves accurate, the Republicans might be dealing with the specter of a monster Gulf hurricane on the opening day of their convention:

Planners of the Republican National Convention in St. Paul held emergency conversations Wednesday about what to do if a tropical storm continues on its track as a potential Category 3 hurricane threatening New Orleans.

Gustav’s projected path suggests possible landfall on the convention’s opening day — Labor Day.

The storm could threaten everything from President Bush’s Monday night address to the broader Republican message of effective government management.

Local officials fear a Katrina II — a rerun of the storm that ravished New Orleans and badly damaged Bush’s image.

Heckuva job, God. Of course, unlike the Focus on the Family assholes, I'm not praying for God to smite my political foes, even if it would underscore Bush's incompetence and cause the media to run photos of McBush's let them eat cake moment with Bush as New Orleans drowned. I hope Gustav fizzles harmlessly. But the lord works in mysterious ways, or so they tell me.

Yes she can

Hillary Clinton gave a marvelous speech tonight. There wasn't a word out of place. She struck exactly the right balance -- unequivocal support for the nominee, an invocation of the Democrats' common identity, acknowledgment of forebears, a clear focus on McCain's ties to Bush and the horrible consequences that would devolve from another four years of GOP rule.

Only the chronically wrong or the clinically delusional could have mistaken her meaning. Let's visit them for a moment, shall we? Let's look in on Bill Kristol, whose first word must have surely been to mistakenly call his mother "dada" or his father "mama," so impressive is his unbroken streak of wrongness. His comments on Hillary's speech tonight were no exception:

"A shockingly minimal endorsement of Obama. She mentions him ten times and every mention, with the partial exception of one, was a generic, could have been applied to any of the other Democrats that ran for president."

Yeah, except for the part where she says the fate of every man, woman and baby in the US hangs on electing Obama instead of McCain. As usual, astute analysis from the most egregious case of wingnut welfare that ever collected a fat, unearned paycheck.

Next up, the delusional freaks at PUMA PAC:.

#4 roxy4hill2 on 08.26.08 at 10:43 pm
What does this color pantsuit mean?

#19 pumetta on 08.26.08 at 10:48 pm
Notice how she is shaking her head “no” as she speaks….

#38 hillfan4mccain on 08.26.08 at 10:52 pm
Orange: tint of color of puma (cat) coat.

Uh-huh. The orange pantsuit was chosen to signal the mighty PUMA pride.

#40 doctorate on 08.26.08 at 10:52 pm
She is talking to us right now!

Yeah, you dumb motherfuckers. She’s telling you if you believe in what she stands for, don’t vote for the dude who stands for the exact opposite.

#96 EWard on 08.26.08 at 11:01 pm
Hillary You sold out! BO is a cheat and a fraud.

Mmmhmmm. Who coulda seen that one coming? That’s okay, Hillary. Real Democrats still love ya. Then one almost gets it:

#98 Ergot4Hill on 08.26.08 at 11:02 pm
How can we profess to support Hillary but at the same time not listen to her admonitions to us—admonitions that if we really support what she stands for, that we have to support Obama? Are we saying we know better than her? I have a headache from this, fellow PUMAs.

Then we're back to Lalaland:

#123 pumetta on 08.26.08 at 11:06 pm
Is she telling us to keep going?

#159 jody in florida on 08.26.08 at 11:11 pm
If you disregard the references to NObo, it sounds like she’s saying, “don’t give up the fight.” maybe i’m delusional... [maybe i’m delusional…” FIXED! -- Ed.]

#239 redraz9 on 08.26.08 at 11:25 pm
So we have another day of trying to figure out what she means…..lol
This woman is killing me……lol

Oh Redraz, just use those things that are holding up your glasses—they’re called ears. Hillary isn't speaking in code. She’s not signaling you loons with her pantsuits. She’s telling you in plain English to stop being a bunch of selfish babies.

Throw Hill some coin

Oh well, Hillary can't help it if a small, pathetic scrum of borderline personality types have attached themselves to her like barnacles and are awaiting signals from her pantsuits. I expect they'll drop off eventually once they realize she's not going to don the Glorious Pantsuit of the Revolution and lead them in an overthrow of the DNC. Aside from their entertainment value, the PUMAs aren't worth bothering over.

But Hillary is. Lord knows she left me fuming and pissed off numerous times during the campaign. But by god, the woman grew into a real, compelling candidate right before our very eyes over the course of the last year. And damn it, she did put cracks in the glass ceiling. And now I believe her when she says she'll use her formidable political skills to help put Obama in the White House.

For that reason, I'm gonna throw a couple of bucks her way to help her retire that campaign debt. Even if some of it goes to the odious Mark Penn. She's earned it. Help out here if you're so inclined.

Note: Some content plagiarized from my own comments in a Rumproast thread. But since it was my comments I'm copying, it's not really plagiarism.

Slap Happy

Slapped in the face! Repeatedly! This appears to be the metaphor du jour at the virtual Hillary Wailing Walls as news of Biden's selection as VP candidate sinks in:

"This is another slap to women, in my opinion."

"Biden could have stopped it, but he didn't. He may offer Obama some street creds on other issues, but he is another slap in the face to women."

"Slap! I am so disheartened and disappointed and disgusted. And as a woman- offended. Once again,the boys run the show."

"Good morning Puma’s!! I don’t have long…going to the fair….just wanted to say… BO is piece of Shi…. I feel like he slapped all of us in the face by not offering it to Hill."

"[P]erhaps this slap in the face will motivate the former Hillary supporters to go back to our candidate and give her the nomination -then it will be ‘happy days are here again”………"

"[D]id you see the last slap to our girl. He started text at 3:00am."

"He had the chance to do something great and chose not to…a real slap in the face to Hillary supporters."

"I think it is a slap to all of us Hillary supporters when she was not even on the short list."

Personally, I think the dude with the giant wrench had the right idea...

EXCLUSIVE!! McCain Campaign Talking Points on the Issues

We've secretly obtained a copy of the McCain campaign's talking points. Boy, is Obama in trouble:

Health care: John McCain experienced government controlled health care – for 5-1/2 years, the communist North Vietnamese government provided John McCain’s medical treatment as he endured brutal torture in service to the country John McCain always puts first. That’s why John McCain is committed to protecting the American people from universal health care.

The sanctity of human life: As John McCain was shot down over Vietnam, he was sucked out of the cockpit of his Navy fighter jet, much as viable fetuses are sucked out of wombs in abortion clinics every day. Therefore, John McCain will protect American fetuses by appointing legal thinkers in the mold of Alito and Scalia to the Supreme Court.

Immigration: John McCain knows what it’s like to be surrounded by foreigners -- he spent 5-1/2 years being beaten senseless by Viet Cong captors. So John McCain can understand why the American people don’t want to be surrounded by gooks gabbling on like, “bong wang wong fu kong,” all the time. John McCain’s personal hero, Ronald Reagan, whom John McCain served as a foot soldier after he (John McCain) was released -- from a Vietnamese prison camp -- said, “Tear down this wall.” John McCain says it’s time to build a wall.

Judicial philosophy: When you spend 5-1/2 years in a Viet Cong prison camp with no access to trial except for a kangaroo commie court like John McCain did, you learn the value of judicial oversight. Therefore, John McCain will appoint judges who protect embryonic life, unlike John McCain’s commie captors, who tortured John McCain in a Viet Cong P.O.W. camp. And in stark contrast to John McCain’s Viet Cong captors, John McCain will make sure hard-working white Americans are protected from torture like the 5-1/2 years of brutality John McCain endured when John McCain was a P.O.W. in Vietnam.

Technology: During his 5-1/2 years in a Viet Cong prisoner of war camp, John McCain wasn’t able to pass the time between beatings with bamboo sticks by “surfing” “online” or playing “Pong” like elitists in exotic, foreign places such as Hawaii. But John McCain recently got help “logging on” to the “World Wide Web,” so John McCain is aware of the ”internets” and all associated traditions.

2nd Amendment: As John McCain was rotting away in a P.O.W. camp for his country, he often wished he had a double-barrel shotgun he could use to blast his filthy gook torturers to smithereens. For this reason, John McCain strongly supports the right of all Americans to keep and bear arms.

Agricultural policies: One of the ways John McCain used to pass the time when John McCain was locked in a tiger cage in a Viet Cong prisoner of war camp was to imagine eating homegrown American food. All the gooks gave John McCain and his fellow American patriots was rotten rice and weevil sauce, which John McCain got tired of after 5-1/2 years. So John McCain will support American agricultural activities.

[CROSS-POSTED AT RUMPROAST]

Cone O' Doom

Like many Floridians, I know how to make coffee on a grill. I hope I don’t have an opportunity to re-use that skill for the first time since 2004 over the next few days. But the hurricane forecast Cone O’ Doom has the Cracker Compound squarely in its cross-hairs at the moment. In the interim, a few random things that piss me off:

McSame attending hurricane briefings.

"The good news is, obviously, no state is better prepared or organized to deal with whatever comes this way than the state of Florida," McCain told reporters after his briefing.

McCain has long criticized the Federal Emergency Management Agency's reaction to Hurricane Katrina, which inundated New Orleans and much of the Gulf Coast. He blamed poor leadership in the storm's aftermath.

Bullshit. McCain was yukking it up and engaging in a Marie Antoinettish bout of cake-brandishing with Chimpy on the day Katrina drowned New Orleans. How the fuck would he know how prepared Florida is for a hurricane? Because Governor Sunlamp told him so?

I was at the grocery store yesterday to lay in a week’s supply of beer, and it was like the fall of Saigon. I had to use my shopping cart as a battering ram to plow through the crowds of panicky retirees fighting over the few remaining jugs of water. Jesus H. Christ filling celestial sandbags, you’d think they didn’t have perfectly good tubs and swimming pools at home.

US-Cuba relations prevent Hurricane Hunter planes from flying over Cuba to assess the storm.

Prior to the Bush administration’s ramped up hostility toward Cuba (a blatant pander to the elderly exile vote in South Florida), Hurricane Hunter planes were allowed to fly over Cuba to assess hurricanes. They shared all information obtained with the Cuban government. According to the Weather Channel, now they are restricted, so it’s tough for them to get a fix on storm strength and motion.

Yeah, the government of Cuba sucks, but is it really more oppressive and awful than, say Saudi Arabia, where women are barred from driving and voting and are required to scuttle around under drop cloths in public? Nice priorities, Chimpy.

No Country for Old Men.

Okay, I’m a HUGE Coen Brothers fan. I finally got my mitts on the DVD and watched it last night when I couldn’t sleep. I just have two questions: What the fuck? What the figgety fucking FUCK?

[CROSS-POSTED AT RUMPROAST]

The REAL Presumptuous Nominee

Remember how your so-called liberal media snickered at Obama for coming up with a faux presidential seal and presuming to speak to foreigners and meet with heads of state in Europe? Just who the hell does that guy think he is, anyway?

Meanwhile, McCain is pulling an Alexander Haig-like power-grab in the middle of an international crisis, and no one seems to notice. Yesterday McCain bragged to a campaign crowd about expressing solidarity during his daily conversations with Georgian President Saakashvili, who replied:

“Yesterday, I heard Sen. McCain say, ‘We are all Georgians now,’” Saakashvili said on CNN’s American Morning. “Well, very nice, you know, very cheering for us to hear that, but OK, it’s time to pass from this. From words to deeds.”

The real presumptuous nominee is not only inserting himself into the Russia – Georgia conflict: He’s dispatching twin butt-gerbils Lindsey Graham and Joe Lieberman to that country as a delegation. WTF? Perhaps they’ll be accompanied by McCain’s foreign policy advisor / Georgia lobbyist Randy Scheunemann, who was paid big bucks to lobby McCain on behalf of the Georgian government before the campaign got underway. Client relations, you know.

Here’s another interesting tidbit via the Talking Points Memo:

President Saakashvili today told Georgians that the US military was moving in to take over control of the country's air and seaports -- which would be a pretty big deal since much of the country still appears to be an active war zone.

And about five minutes later the Pentagon said he didn't know what he was talking about.

"We are not looking to, nor do we need to, take control of any air or seaports to conduct this mission," said Geoff Morrell, Pentagon press secretary. "The role of the U.S. military is strictly to facilitate the delivery of humanitarian assistance to the victims of this conflict."

John McCain says he's talking to Saakashvili every day. What's he telling him? Is he confusing the situation?

That’s a good goddamned question. If McCain is engaged in freelance foreign policy shenanigans that are confusing a head of state in a potentially very dangerous context, isn’t that worth looking into? Someone needs to get Britney or Paris to Tbilisi NOW so the media will start paying attention.

[Cross-posted at Rumproast]

The Beast Revealed!

Remember that lame-ass McCain “The One” ad? Some speculate it contained fundamentalist dog-whistles to subliminally suggest Obama is the Antichrist. Well, if an upcoming article in the End Times Journal is correct, that ad may showcase a classic case of what psychologists call P-R-O-J-E-C-T-I-O-N:

Biblical scholars in Colorado Springs have uncovered startling evidence that Senator John McCain may be the Antichrist. Their conclusions, while highly controversial, may have a dramatic impact on the 2008 elections, since many Bible-believing Christians have already expressed doubts about McCain’s fealty to Christianity.

The analysis was conducted by the respected True Bible Society, and it will be published next month in the End Times Journal.

[snip]

“What started us looking at this issue is the fact that Senator McCain has declared his intention to maintain US forces in Iraq for a hundred years,” said David Jenkins, a leading Biblical scholar. “That means that McCain wants to control Babylon for at least a century.”

[snip]

“We believe that the End Times is near, based on the pattern of wars, earthquakes. and other strange phenomena we’ve been witnessing since the start of the New Millennium,” said Jenkins. “Given that it may be imminent, the person who controls Babylon must be the Antichrist.” Until 2003, many Christians believed that Saddam Hussein might be the Antichrist, since he started excavations to restore Babylon in the mid 1970s. But Hussein’s death meant that the Antichrist is someone else. Since Obama wants to get out of Iraq, he can’t be the Antichrist either, concluded Jenkins.

Jenkins said his teams suspicions were further heightened when genealogical research showed that McCain’s great-grandfather was actually not John McCain, but John Mihai. Mihai is an ancient Romanian name, and according to Bible-believing Christians, the Antichrist is likely to be a Romanian. “What clinched it for us was that the name Mihai means ‘who is like the Lord,’” said Jenkins. “As far as we’re concerned, that was enough. It means that McCain might easily pretend to be the Redeemer.”

So far, the Beelzebub campaign has refused to comment on this important story. But a pattern is emerging – one completely consistent with a campaign promoting the Father of Lies: The McCain campaign offers ads that not only contradict the facts but embody the truth's polar opposite.

For example, McCain, the dude with the $520 loafers, private plane and 10 houses, calls his opponent an elitist. McCain, who has appeared in “Wedding Crashers” and “24” as well as hosting Saturday Night Live, etc., calls his competitor a celebrity. And McCain, the man who promised a civil, honorable campaign, now runs wall-to-wall negative ads.

This pattern, along with the End Times Journal’s groundbreaking reportage, seems to suggest that McCain’s comb-over is more than just a grooming “don’t” – it could be a necessity to hide the “666” on McCain’s scalp. Scary stuff, my friends. Pass it on to a twitchy fundie near you. As The Poor Man says, these rats ain't gonna fuck themselves.

[Cross-posted at Rumproast]

Dodging Bullets. Plus, Lieberdouchebag Tries to Buy Off Dems.

One of Hillary Clinton’s primary staffers is pissed off. Why else release notes, emails and internal memos demonstrating an astonishing level of internecine warfare within the campaign to The Atlantic? The resulting article isn't available yet, but Politico has some highlights here. A brief synopsis:

Mark Penn advised Clinton to portray Obama as foreign: Penn, the presidential campaign’s chief strategist, wrote in a memo to Clinton excerpted in the article: “I cannot imagine America electing a president during a time of war who is not at his center fundamentally American in his thinking and in his values.”

Big surprise – not. We all knew Penn was a dick anyway, a rotund reverse-image of Karl Rove without the lucky streak. Another nugget:

The famous 3 a.m. ad, written by Penn and approved by Clinton, almost didn’t run: “In the days leading up to Ohio and Texas, the campaign kept arguing over whether to air the [3 a.m.] ad. With the deadline looming, Bill Clinton, speaking from a cell phone as his plane sat on a runway, led a conference call on Thursday, Feb. 28, in which he had both sides present their case. As his plane was about to lift off, it was Bill Clinton — not Hillary — who issued the decisive order: ‘Let’s go with it.’ ”

Interesting. And how did they get the media to drag out the horserace narrative after it became clear Clinton couldn’t win?

"They proposed that Clinton, from a position of strength immediately after her wins, challenge Obama to accept Michigan and Florida revotes. Such a move ‘preempts Obama’s reiteration on March 5 that they are still up 100-plus delegates and that we can’t win,’ they noted. ‘The press will love the rematch, like Rocky II.”

Worked like a charm. But alas, for the Clinton campaign, to no avail. So who comes off best?

A key take-away from the article is that Clinton received a lot of accurate advice, including from Penn. He wrote a remarkably prescient memo in March 2007 about the importance of appealing to what he called “the Invisible Americans,” specifically “WOMEN, LOWER AND MIDDLE CLASS VOTERS” — exactly the groups that helped Clinton beat Obama in key states nearly a year later.

But no one synthesized and acted on the good advice.

“The anger and toxic obsessions overwhelmed even the most reserved Beltway wise men,” Green writes. “[H]er advisers couldn’t execute strategy; they routinely attacked and undermined each other, and Clinton never forced a resolution. ... [S]he never behaved like a chief executive, and her own staff proved to be her Achilles’ heel.

This tells me two things: One, Penn or a Penn acolyte released the memos. He’s probably still smarting over having been tarred as an inept pollster who squandered a huge advantage by not even understanding how caucuses worked.

The second thing it tells me is this: We are incredibly lucky that Obama won this primary. Think about it: Edwards has been disgraced by a bimbo eruption, which almost certainly would have been fatal to Democratic White House prospects had he been the nominee. And Clinton ran an inept, back-biting campaign with inadequate top-down leadership.

Yeah, Clinton has experience handling GOP smears – experience that resulted in about half the country hating her guts for the last 15 years. Unfairly, in my opinion, but there it is. Carrying the monumental pile of Clintonian baggage in the run-up to the general election would have been difficult under the best of circumstances. But doing it with a staff that is fighting like two dozen cats in a sack? Virtually impossible. All I can say is, “WHEW.” We dodged a bullet. Two, actually.

Can't Buy Me Love

Via Raw Story, we learn that Joe Lieberman has cut a $100,000 check to the Democratic Senatorial Campaign Committee (DSCC). Probably getting a little nervous about losing his committee chairmanships.

I don’t know how the DSCC operates, but I wish they would publicly earmark that money to fund a Democratic challenger in Connecticut to kick Lieberman out on his sorry, traitorous ass. By the way, you can join more than 50,000 other people who have signed a petition to oust Lieberman from his Democratic caucus leadership positions here. You’ll be glad you did.

[Cross-posted at Rumproast]

Mad men and bio weapons facilities

As I've noted elsewhere, the anthrax case stinks to high heaven. Too many unanswered questions remain. But even if we trust what the government is now telling us about the attacks, the facts as presented are still scary as hell because they suggest that a certifiable nutjob was entrusted with some of the most dangerous substances on the face of the earth and that he successfully used his government position to randomly murder US citizens.

From the coverage so far, there's little reason to hope that the mainstream media will investigate how the anthrax attacks were used to create a bogus link with Iraq and set the foundation for the WMD scare -- even though Bush, Cheney and McCain are all on record doing just that -- with disastrous consequences.

But even if this important aspect of the story is ignored, I hope the facts of the case as presented will at least stir people to wonder why we spend untold amounts of money maintaining bio weapons research labs in the first place. I get that the ostensible purpose is to research ways to combat bio terrorism originating from other countries. But what if the enemy is us?

McMancrush. Plus, let the Big Dawg whine.

Did you know that McCain is so very honorable and straight-talky that he couldn’t possibly be responsible for his own campaign’s scurrilous attack ads? Even though the ads end with, “I’m John McCain, and I approved this message”? Even when he personally tells reporters he’s proud of the ads?

I didn’t either, but that’s the conclusion Mike Barnicle (subbing for Tweety on Hardball), Andrea Mitchell and Roger Simon reached last night. Really.



It doesn’t matter what McCain does; the media just can’t quit him.

Big Dawg yaps

Hillary Clinton as VP? Na-ga-ha-pen. The Most Qualified Woman in the History of the Universe will be denied the second spot because of the ginormous ego of one man. No, not that one. This one:



Perhaps embittered Hillary supporters should direct their ire accordingly.

[Cross-posted at Rumproast]

Stone cold killer

This is Daisy, my auxilliary boxer. She's too young to be hanging out in a bar -- even in dog years -- but when you turn your back yard into a tiki bar with no walls, it's impossible to keep the young'uns out.

Daisy looks sweet, but behind those angelic eyes lurk the cunning and relentlessness of a predator, as poor Mr. Toad in the foreground here found out. Daisy has also killed an innocent rat snake this week.

I don't know how to stop her murder spree, and Cesar Millan and Victoria Stillwell have been inexcusably silent on this important topic. Any tips in comments would be much appreciated.