Grumpier old men

Ancient fart George Herbert Walker Bush endorsed merely old fart John McCain for president yesterday, calling wingnut attacks on McCain's record as a conservative "absurd" and "grossly unfair." Bush added, "No one is better to lead our nation in these trying times than Senator John McCain."

So far as we know, Bush the Elder didn't break down in sobs as he occasionally does when forced to contemplate "these trying times," i.e., the sorry mess wrought by his idiot son. It's difficult to imagine how former preznit "Read My Lips" Bush's endorsement will assist McCain in bringing the far right into his camp.

After all, they despise Bush père, a former Navy pilot whose plane was brought down by enemy fire in WWII, as much as they hate the famously shot-down-and-imprisoned McCain. Today's wingnuts prefer the faux-flightsuited farcial stylings of Bush the Younger, who, while being an AWOL drunk during McJowl's imprisonment, at least talks tough and could never be mistaken for a Frenchman.

Farewell, el Jefe

Speaking of foreign old farts, Fidel Castro is stepping down as president of Cuba. It remains to be seen whether city officials in Miami will enact their civil chaos plan, which entails crossing out the word "hurricane" and replacing it with "the demise of the dictator Fidel."

Really, a resignation simply won't do at this point. There are legions in Little Havana who have been clinging to life by gnarled old fingernails since 19-fucking-59, just waiting for Castro to finally kick the bucket. And now he quits?

The 81-year-old Fidel is ceding power to his relatively youthful 76-year-old brother Raul, who plans to continuing thumbing his nose at US presidents and is looking forward to locking horns with 72-year-old whippersnapper John McCain should he win the upcoming election.

Fidel, meanwhile, promises in a 12,578-word resignation note to continue delivering long-winded screeds to an eager public. The resignation "letter" closes with this promise: "This is not my farewell to you. My only wish is to fight as a soldier in the battle of ideas. I shall continue to write under the heading of 'Reflections by comrade Fidel.' It will be just another weapon you can count on. Perhaps my voice will be heard. I shall be careful."

Preznit Dubyahoo commented that Fidel's departure from the official scene should "end staged elections." That's a bit rich coming from a guy who assumed office after a Supreme Court stocked by his own daddy handed him the presidency over the popular vote winner. But we can rest assured Bush II will continue to ingratiate his party to the dwindling bloc of Cuban exile voters by opposing "brutal dictator" Fidel.

And Exxon Mobile can rest easy knowing he'll continue to kiss the ass of the Saudis, who only oppress women after all, and continue to export oil and terrorists.